If you want to know why I've titled this load of crap that is nothing but me rambling The Asswipe Chronicles, ask me sometime and I'll tell you. Maybe.
Welcome back, least favorite time of the year! I'm gonna say it. Fuck college football. Hell, fuck football. Hell, just a year ago, I liked college football. I think it's almost obligatory considering I go to Alabama, the school with the most mascots in the SEC (a woman's menstrual cycle, an elephant, and a dead Bear.) I even went to a few games, cheered for my school, and cursed the Auburn football team so much at the Iron Bowl that the people around me in the UA student section were offended (apparently calling them "child-touching cocksuckers" goes too far, whatever.)
But I realized after a couple of weeks, and my close proximity to Bryant-Denny Stadium, that I would not be enjoying this for very long. I like to be able to get to places that only take me five minutes to get there in five minutes. Not 45 minutes, while some asshole and his drunk, ugly girlfriend try to get me to pay $25 to park in their yard (but they had free beer!). Fuckers. And don't get me started on the drunk white trash that show up and act like there is a desk at the city limits where they check their common decency, only to retrieve it on the way out of town. "Hey Joe Jack, I've got an empty beer can. Throw it in the trash for me!"
"Fuck that shit Billy, throw it on the ground!"
I hate Tuscaloosa. I hate college football. If you're going to come to the city where I live and trash the place, please die. Or suck a dog's dick. Either one will suffice.
But then again, I'll more than likely watch or try to get tickets to the games. Roll Goddamn Motherfuckin' Tide Roll.
I'm gonna post music videos at the end of this thing because I feel like my taste in music is better than yours. Here's a Fake Problems video.
Diamond Rings
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