Sometimes you just gotta let the devil out

Hey all. I haven't been here in a while. I don't know why I just referred to this blog as a place. Oh well.

How have things been? Good I hope. Shit is different here.

First and foremost, I joined a gym. Yeah, a gym. With weights. And cardio machines. I know, I know. "But Drew, you hate gyms and the meatheads that fill them." True. I do hate meatheads. That's why I quit going to the Rec Center gym. You'd look around and just see a bunch of dudes pretty much masturbating to their own reflection in the mirror as they lifted weights. The one that I joined though, is pretty anti-meathead. They actually have an alarm that they sound any time someone starts acting like a meathead. I haven't heard it yet, but I've only been a member for two days.

So far, Tuscaloosa hasn't been as boring during the summer as I anticipated. Work has been slow and I haven't made much in tips (pretty much just enough to be able to eat once or twice a day), but I'm staying busy. Like I said, I joined a gym and work out for about an hour and a half or two hours everyday. I've still managed to snag a couple of beers most days of the week. I've also been reading a bunch about the Industrial Workers of the World. If there's something that I have a sincere interest in, it's militant labor. Their stories are amazing and I look forward to reading more.

I know though that things will start to stagnate soon. I hate stagnation. Stagnation leads to boredom. Boredom leads to depression. I hate it. I let my life stagnate for the longest time and I pretty much stayed depressed and it was tough to deal with. I don't talk about it much because I feel like no one really gives a shit, but I have this desire to keep moving and getting into new things because if I stay too still or stay in one place for too long, I get depressed. More often than not, I'm depressed because there is nothing new in my world. There are places to see, but I can't afford to see them. I think Frank Turner put it best: "You won't find your precious answers by staying in one place."

That has to change. Making just enough to eat everyday has me nervous. My money is running out and I feel like I won't make enough to keep my bills paid. I'm not going to be a leech like I was last year. I can tell it's going to be hard though. Pretty much every worry that I have is because of money. I think I've gone on about that at length before, so I won't start in on it again. Honestly, I almost wish that I had never gone to college so I wouldn't be buried under a mountain of debt. There are a lot of nights that I don't sleep because I keep thinking about it.

I'm gonna try to find a second job. I don't really have a choice in the matter. It's just a matter of finding places in a college town that will hire during the summer.

Maybe I just need to get the hell out of Tuscaloosa for a few days. One of the tracks that runs behind my apartment goes through Gordo and it moves pretty slow when it goes by. Maybe I could hop on, ride to Gordo, and get someone to meet me there and bring me back. Maybe I just need to go walk down the tracks for a bit considering I haven't in forever. I just gotta let the devil out for a little bit.

I guess I'm done. I need to go to the gym. I've been sitting here in the library for way longer than I intended. Maybe I won't take over a month to get on here next time. Maybe I'll have something that isn't me whining about money and boredom and stagnation. Who knows?